Happiness From the Inside Out

7 Keys to Creating Your Own Happiness

Happiness exists in the inside. It doesn't come from the things we get or people around us, or from anything outside ourselves. It is our experience and our interpretation of that experience that makes us happy.

Who's in Control?

We each have more control over our own happiness than we realize. In fact, we are in complete control over our own happiness because we are the ones who choose whether or not to be happy in any moment. Even in the face of the most unpleasant events or circumstances, we can find something to be happy about by the way we choose to interpret things and how we choose to respond to them.

Where Happiness Lives

The saying, "Happiness is a state of mind" is the absolute truth. Our mind is where happiness lives - where it begins and ends. And what we do with our mind makes all the difference. In fact, how we choose to interpret events and circumstances is the only thing in life that we have absolute control over. So, use your mind to create happiness - and you will live in happiness. Use your mind to create misery and you will live in misery. You're in charge. You decide. (And remember that being happy also makes us more healthy!)

How to Create Happiness

You can create happiness by fine-tuning your "inner framework" for how you relate to the world and yourself. There are 7 key areas you'll need to address.

7 Keys to Happiness from the Inside

The following are 7 main areas that contribute to our level of happiness:

  1. Focus on the Good in the World
  2. Do What You Love
  3. Create Positivity
  4. Celebrate Who You Are
  5. Put Yourself in Charge
  6. Accept Your Own Perfection
  7. Treat Yourself and Others Well

These are all areas that we have control over. Make your life work for you in these 7 ways, and you will increase your happiness.

(There are other areas that contribute to our happiness - like other people being nice to us - that we do not have control over, but since we can't directly influence them we won't discuss them here.)

Next, we'll look in more detail at how to work with each of the 7 keys to happiness from the inside.

1. Focus on the Good in the World

This is about focusing on the positive in the world - the good will, loving, caring, embracing, supporting, "cheering on," etc. - when you think of "the world out there."

This doesn't mean to deny that negativity doesn't exist in the world. The point is that the way you think about your world directly influences your experience of the world, and how you interpret things that happen and people you interact with. When you expect people and things to be positive, and you go out into the world with that attitude, you are much more likely to have a positive experience. So we're talking about focusing on the positive aspects of the world.

So, when you think about how you relate to the world, visualize a positive world and how it feels to connect with it and live in it. And disregard all else. Embrace those positive aspects when you come across them, and return the good will.

The more good will you give, the more you will get. Maybe not from the same person, maybe not right then in that moment. But if you go around doing good and genuinely wishing the best for people, more people will relate to you in that same way. And you'd be happy about that, right?

2. Do What You Love

Do things that make you happy for half and hour or more a day. These things can be anything, and they may change from moment to moment and day to day. This "you time" can be all at once, or a few minutes here and there throughout the day.

This is about giving yourself the gift of time and about listening to your wants and needs and honoring them. This doesn't mean to go eat a pound of chocolate or any kind of "substitute" activity that only temporarily makes you feel happy and then makes you feel awful.

Check in with yourself and see what you want and/or need. It might be a hobby or favorite project, a nap, a snack, some interesting web surfing, a walk around the block, a chat with a pal, a bubble bath, a good magazine or book, a favorite TV show, or just doing nothing for a while - just about anything you're in the mood for.

During this "you time" do things just because you want to, not because you're supposed to or you feel you should.

3. Create Positivity

You can fine-tune the way you think in order to have a more positive experience in life. (It's not cheating, it's the real thing!) This is the area with the greatest scope, and the greatest potential for the power to create your own happiness.

The five ways to create more positivity will now be described.

Set Yourself Up for Success…

Make it Easier For You to Succeed

Create circumstances in which you can succeed by supporting yourself and laying the groundwork for success. Arrange things in a way that will support you in doing what you need to increase your happiness. (Note that this means things that benefit you without harm or detrimental affects to others.)

For example, if you have a goal of eating more healthy meals, make it a point to always keep healthy ingredients on hand. Or if you are trying to reduce your level of stress, make sure you set aside time to do meditation or whatever approach you're using. Or if you want a job that you like better, gather some helpful books, web site links, sample resumes and other resources that will help spur you on.

This is a way of supporting yourself and stacking the deck in your favor. It involves doing what you need to do to help ensure that you will accomplish whatever you set out to do. This could include taking actions, carving out time in your schedule, setting boundaries (e.g., learning to say "no" some of the time), and so on - with the intent of supporting yourself in your intentions and goals.

Create the Perspective that You Are Always a Success

It is very important to our mental well-being to be able to call ourselves a success. Again, you can create odds that are overwhelmingly in your favor - because you are in charge of your mind.

So, make a continuous assumption that you are always a personal success. Make the distinction between you being a success and your actions being a success. You are a success, regardless of what you did or didn't do, what you can or cannot do. You are in the process of life just like the rest of us, and you are a success just because of that. You are a success if you believe you are.

Forget what the world says represents success, and make the choice to set your own criteria for success—remembering that personal success is independent of accomplishments in the world. Make them up as you go. It's like asking yourself, "what am I doing right, right now in this moment" or "what can I praise myself for right now." This is especially important when you are feeling judgmental about yourself, but try to adopt it as a continual way of thinking. You can be your own cheerleader and #1 fan!

Find a way to view everything as a success. For example, if you are one who picks up books but never seems to finish one, see yourself as "someone who looks into a lot of books" rather than "someone who rarely finishes a book."

Don't Let Negativity Suck You In

Only engage in the world in ways that lift you up and move you forward. Don't waste your time engaging in games of right/wrong with others - or in your own head. This includes things like arguing about who or what is "right," defending yourself against emotional attack, listening to judgments meant to hurt you, etc. These things only lead to the depths of judgment and pointless use of your energy. When someone "baits" you like this, don't get sucked in. See these actions for what they are: energy-sapping behaviors based in a mentality of lack, fear, low self-esteem, and other negativity.

Spend Your Time Wisely on Uplifting Pursuits

Choose your projects and endeavors wisely. For example, choose work, reading, TV shows, movies, people, home projects, hobbies, etc. based on how they lift you up and don't drag you down.

Choose carefully in areas where there is a choice (this is almost everything) so that the uplifting activities outweigh the neutral and "life-energy sapping" things that you must do (and do what you can to eliminate the latter ones from your life).

Remember that just because you start something doesn't mean you have to finish it. If you start a project or TV show and find that it is bringing you down, change and do something else instead. Guard your happiness carefully.

Hold Intentions of Good Will

Always hold an intention for good will for yourself and for others. This means to want the best for everyone - for them to have the experiences and lessons they need to learn and grow, to be happier, to be better people. And remember that we don't always know what is best for them, or what they really need. (Only Spirit knows that.)

When you feel anger, jealousy, vengeful, etc. - things other than good will for others - they are signs that something within you needs attention. Pay attention and look deeper within yourself to see what part of you needs extra love or reassurance, or how you need to nurture yourself. Negative emotions usually mean there's some way you need to support yourself - e.g., listen to your needs more closely, provide healing for some emotional pain wound, release judgments against yourself, accept yourself, maintain your boundaries, etc.

Create a Field of Positive Energy

Create an "orb" of positive, loving energy in and around yourself that is nurtured and energized by various ways of connecting with love, joy, and other energies of Spirit. Try the following:


Affirmations are a great way to establish and maintain intentions, sets of beliefs, and mindsets such as support for yourself and a loving attitude. Some examples are:

  • I am one with joy and love.
  • I am bathing in a sea of loving bliss and contentment.
  • I am a being born for love and empathy, which brings me great joy.
  • I am a child of a loving God, and I am choosing to live in love.


Close your eyes and sit quietly for a few minutes, and visualizing yourself breathing in (God's) pure love with every breath.


Set an intention that you can say to yourself every morning, to center yourself in positivity and bring forward love and good will for yourself and others. Here are some examples:

  • Today I intend to love myself and I love others.
  • Today I intent to hold a loving attitude towards myself.
  • Today I intend to let the Light fill my being for healing, upliftment, and love.

Pray for the Best for Others…

Pray that others will be given what they need for healing, upliftment, and happiness. (Do not ask for any specifics beyond this, because you do not know what is actually best for a person according to their spiritual purpose and life path.)

Remember that when others are negative, it's a sign that there is healing that needs to take place within them.

Feel Good About Your Role in the World…

Find a way to feel good about your role in the world - how you fit in, how you contribute, etc. If you're not making the world better, or if what you're doing doesn't feel quite right or you feel called to do more, change your role and/or what you're doing. You can contribute, and you do have a place in the world.

Believe That You Are Here for a Reason…

You are here for a reason, whether you know what that reason is or not. We each are born with a purpose - and often many purposes - for our time on this planet. We discover this purpose by noticing what feels right, meaningful, and alive within us over time - what resonates inside us as we go through life. We also can discover clues to our purpose(s) based on our own unique abilities, characteristics, tendencies, talents, etc. that we can use to help others or make a positive difference somehow.

4. Celebrate Who You Are

Be who you are, and put more of the glory of who you are out into the world. Be true to yourself, and truly love who you are in all ways and all levels. Look up to yourself, and admire what you see. Celebrate your uniqueness - your tendency to say a kind word, your crazy creativity, the intensity of your eyes, the strength and character of your hands... and so on.

5. Put Yourself in Charge

Instead of taking on others' expectations, judgments, and ideas of how things are or how they should be, decide for yourself. Think for yourself.

Examine your motivations to see whether they're based on what you want and what you think, or on what others want and think. Hold yourself to your own expectations, separate from others'.

Get ahead of the game (beat others to the punch) by writing your own expectations for yourself, your wants, your standards for yourself - maybe even keep a journal of these for yourself.

6. Accept Your Own Perfection

Be at peace with yourself and know that you are perfect in every moment just because you are you. The state of "perfection" includes the process of learning, growing, trying and then trying again next time, becoming a better person, being yourself, being an extension of Spirit's love, etc. So, whatever state you are in at the moment, it is perfect for where you are and what you need at this time, and it is also perfect for where you want to go and what you want to become next, and in the future.

7. Treat Yourself and Others Well

Find a way to "be" with others that works for you - and that works for others, too. Relate to others, act with others, and consider others based on:

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